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Nothingness

Like many times over the last 9 months of blogging, I’m at a loss for words.  I’m pushing myself to write for fear of losing my edge, and yet I’m starting to think that the verbalizing of my struggle is making it more real.  If that’s the case, shouldn’t I start writing more positive things and make THOSE real instead? Me thinks I’m onto something.

1. I love my daughter.

2. There will eventually, possibly be light at the end of the tunnel.

3. This too shall pass.

4. I have a husband who loves me, and vice versa.

5. Nothing ever stays the same.

6. My family is absolutely amazing and supportive.

7. I have old friends, true friends and new friends.  That’s more than a lot of people have.

8. My dogs are alive, and despite the vet bills, we have still been able to pay our mortgage.

9. Things with the business are on the verge of great

10. I’ve got a lot going for me (even though I’m losing my camera man, can’t find my inspiration, and am wiped out)

11. I have connections

12. I have an amazing home and the ability to share it.

13. I haven’t passed a kidney stone since I was pregnant with EG (it was #38).

14. I’m going on a REAL vacation soon!

15. My husband is gone, but will come home tomorrow for 3 whole days!

Ok, so if I take one thing per hour tomorrow – I have enough to get me through 15 hours!  Hmmmm…maybe I’m on to something!

Bella and Ellie Graye having a playdate. SUCH girls

Sweet, sweet Bella

Surprise, surprise, Ellie has been swimming

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5 Comments to “Nothingness”

  1. Beautiful 🙂

  2. Melissa,
    I really needed some words of inspiration and this was helpful for me also. Thank you for the uplifting words. Maybe today I’ll do the same!

  3. it certainly helps to write even when the words get stuck somewhere in the air. Putting thoughts on paper helps the process. You came up with the goods after all.
    xoxo Mary

  4. I know how you feel- I’ve been blogging for 4-5 years and I still am at a loss for words sometimes. Other times, the words/opinions/ideas won’t stop coming out- so I’ve found that I will write when I have inspiration, and save the drafts for days when I just don’t.

    It’s also nice to have a wordless day, and just post a photo that I’ve taken that strikes me for some reason.

    Lots of *hugs*. You’re doing a great job!

  5. I went through a similar “maybe acknowledging the uncomfortable feelings and just being present with them will be healthier than trying to escape them” time at the beginning of last year, secretly hoping that such a “spiritually mature” approach would quickly rid me of the unpleasant emotion. For me, it was loneliness; and like you said, it seemed like the more I allowed myself to feel what I wanted to avoid, the more it grew. And then I went back to less healthy coping/avoidance strategies like drinking a little more than I should have. I guess I didn’t go the “thankfulness” route in continued rebellion against my mother, who always told me to think about the things in my life for which I should be thankful…as certain horrid adults in YFT were making my life a living hell.

    I haven’t quite figured this one out; but I like your list in that it doesn’t attempt to negate the difficult, merely acknowledges both sides of the truth: that there are painful aspects to life as well as joyful ones. Melissa, if there’s anyone who I believe can’t permanently lose their creativity and joy in expressing it, you’re the one. Enjoy your rest. We all love you whether you’re entertaining us or not 😉

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