Well, we’re certainly back at it. Despite Ellie sleeping in until 8:30 am, the reality of the complications of living the “simple” life came barreling down as soon as we were out of bed. To be fair, the sun was shining, the birds chirping, and the beauty of Deer Park was overwhelming. But, in actuality, it wasn’t just the beauty of DPF that was overwhelming – it was EVERYTHING!
I hardly gave the dogs a glance when I fed them; rushing to be sure Boots swallowed his medicine before running back into the house to dress and feed the baby. Jeffrey was already working in his “office” (the pool house), and sent me a quick IM.
“Did you see Boots’ eye? He can’t open it. Is that normal?”
I called my little troublemaker into the kitchen. He most certainly was NOT normal! He has this way of drooping his ears when he’s not feeling well. It always makes me feel like I’m an absolutely horrible dog owner, and that if I don’t carry him around in a baby sling (don’t laugh, I HAVE done that before), I don’t deserve to call him my pet.
After setting an appointment with the vet for the afternoon, I headed to the market with EG, stopping first to feed the horses. I hurridly prepped their grain, and glanced into the hay stall. It was empty……..empty??? No hay??? In my rush to leave town last week, I had put off that whole calling for a delivery. We were able to scrounge together enough to last until tomorrow, and I added “schedule hay delivery” to my long list of to-dos. Thank goodness for big ol’ paddocks – at least they had their fill of pasture grass!
After picking up Victor and Lorena, I casually asked what Lorena was planning to do for her birthday on Tuesday. “My birthday was yesterday, Melissa.” Lorena is a super important person to our family, and we had wanted to do something special for her. Yet, I had completely spaced out and remembered an incorrect date. What the heck?!?! I feel HORRIBLE. We’re still going to do something with the family to celebrate on Tuesday, but crap! I just feel badly.
I had a list of things to do a mile long, so I got cracking as soon as Ellie was settled in with Nana. I met my friend Jill in town and returned the Go-Go-Babyz car seat wheels that were a total lifesaver on the trip, then headed out to see if I could find a gift for Lorena. I found a few fun things that she would enjoy, and went to the counter to check out. I reached into my purse for my wallet. Not there. CRAP!!!!! Of course, in my hurry to get out the door, I had grabbed my purse, forgetting that for the flight home yesterday, I had kept my wallet in the diaper bag. I drove the 25 minutes back to DPF, and just decided to let the rest of the errands that I had wanted to do today slide.
Instead, I headed out to the vegetable garden. I thinned the carrots, checked on seeds, weeded, and just enjoyed being in the beating sun. The vegetable garden to me feels manageable. If something doesn’t work – no big deal. I’ve never done this before (at least not to this extent), so it’s more like a big experiment. I don’t actually know what I’m doing, and that’s ok because if nothing grows, we can just till it under and try again next year. I’m comfortable with that.
What I’m NOT comfortable with is the flower garden. A garden of this caliber and size should NEVER have been entrusted to someone who had only ever grown sweet peas – and that when she was 8 years old. In this case, we can’t just “try again next year.” You see, every time I step out to deal with something that I think should be an easy task, I get completely overwhelmed with my absolute lack of knowledge.
For instance, I started deadheading the lilacs just like the pruning book told me; I couldn’t reach the highest flower heads, so I started weeding the millions of weeds popping up beneath them. The more weeds I pulled, the more I noticed. My quest to clean the flower beds led me over to the peonies, where I noticed that I had yet to stake them. They were flopped all over the place, their flower heads weighing them down to the ground. Once I had staked the peonies, I noticed that many of the plants in various beds were battling for space, running one into the other. I realized that I need to do some pruning – and I have no idea how to prune a Japanese maple versus how to prune a rose bush. Because, yes, the 60 some odd rose bushes need some attention. As I stood in the rose garden, wondering what to do, I noticed the rhodes need to be deadheaded. Then I realized that we had lost a couple of dogwood trees; in fact, there are a million trees that need to be pruned. Weeds are popping up everywhere: taking over the parts of the garden that used to be filled with prolific flowers, but are now otherwise blank. Once again, reality hits: I have no idea what the hell I’m doing, and I don’t have the money to hire someone who does!
So, yes, I am officially overwhelmed. And for all of you who think the garden “looks great” – that’s the beauty of photography. You can show what you want people to see. I think it’s time for me to throw my hands up in the air and say, “SCREW THIS!” and see what happens. Unfortunately, however, I don’t believe I’m capable of doing that. I’ve got too much of that “DO SOMETHING” attitude. If I know myself, I know what I’ll do: I’ll read more; I’ll ask more questions; I’ll try again.
Aaah, the joys of the “simple farm life.” Ugh. Sometimes it ain’t all it’s cracked up to be!
Tomorrow I’m totally booked up at the barn with hay arriving in the morning, the vet in the afternoon (for Avdoo’s acpuncture), and, HOPEFULLY, a ride on Frank. The weather is so beautiful, that I’m also hoping to spend some time with friends, but we’ll see if that actually happens…any volunteers?
RANDOM PHOTOS OF THE DAY